So Today...

Well, Today I got up at about 12:30. I didnt get to sleep until about 4 last night, Like most nights recently I cant sleep properly and I just wake up every so often, and then fall asleep.

Well, I dont actually sleep I sort of imagine and have a dream but I am still conscious.

But last night was different...I actually sleep flat through until 12:30. I turned on the TV and Loose Women was on. They were talking about Britains Seaside towns...Interesting.

Then I watched Prisoner of Zenda and Easter Parade symaltaneously.

After that I watched The Sound of Music, but I gave up at the bit where the Nun starts singing to Maria when she returns to the Nunnery or whatever it's called. She was awful.

I am in alot of pain today. I have bite marks on my chest, cuts across my stomach, grazes down my right arm, my fingers are hurting, especially my left thumb and little finger. I wondered whether my thumb was broken last night but it is OK. Just being a bit melodramatic.

I am glad I can write stuff here because although it's on the net it's like a Secret because no one knows me, so I can tell someone and it feels better to not have it like a big secret.

I also have a big bruise on my face and nose, and a cut on my forehead.

I took the overdose last night because I just cant stand my life. I am so tired. Tired of everything.

Tied of violence, tired of always getting everything wrong ,tired of being lonely, tired of being used, tired of being so pathetic.

Well anyway, it didn't work. The police came after the neighbour called them. They were two female officers. When Chris answered the door (I could hear, the bathroom is downstairs) They said "well can I see your ex-partner please because a neighbour said they heard her screaming", I laughed to myself.

Did the neighbour hear my screaming and thought it was a woman because I sounded like a girl...or did she assume that I was a girl because the neighbour must have said I was Chris' ex Partner.

The police were really rude. It was almost like I was wrong for screaming .If I was a girl I am sure they would be different. Nevermind. Unlike the last 3 times they didn't make me fill out a ridiculous incident report, where a few days later you get sent a thing about domestic violence. They just said to be quiet.

I'll make sure in future when I have one arm around my neck and the other hand over my face to shut up!

Last Night

I never thought about blogging before but I decided to give it a go.

Last night I took an overdose. That's a weird way to start a blog, but hey, it's the biggest thing that has happened recently so I figured I should mention it! Other then that, I watched The Sound Of Music on TV and some crap film with Judy Garland called Easter Parade.

Well, I guess I should tell you about myself. Im 19, I'm 20 in June. I live in Hertfordshire in the UK. Im Gay, and No, that wasnt the reason I took an Overdose.

I think I will use this as a kind of Diary. After last night, I think I need something to contain my thoughts and things. Maybe this will help. I hope so!

I will write more later when I have time. Bye x